Brooke and I met in university. We were both taking Chemical Engineering at the University of Western Ontario. She was and is one of the smartest people I know. She wasn’t arrogant or boastful like a lot of the boys I met attending university. She didn’t seem bothered by my ambitions, out spoke-ness or desire to have career as an Engineer. She loved sports; baseball, football, golf and playing video games. We started out as friends as most great relationships do and it blossomed into so much more. It was so easy to talk with her and she could always make me laugh. We got married when we both finished school, got jobs in Toronto then decided to move back to my hometown near Saint John, NB in 2003. In 2005 we had our first child, and after three tough miscarriages were blessed with our second son in 2009.
By 2022 our lives felt perfect to me. Things were opening after COVID, both of our careers were doing well, our boys were teenagers and had become self-sufficient. This left Brooke and I more time to do things together as a couple. We got into brewing our own beer, golfing together, going for walks and other hobbies like painting. Not only were we in love but we were best friends who enjoyed each other’s company. A picture-perfect marriage.
I can’t really remember what led up to her telling me. I remember lying in bed, it was dark, so I could see her outline but not her face. She told me she had to tell me something important and I could tell she was emotional. I thought she might be about to tell me she had an affair or wanted a divorce. I honestly didn’t know but I could tell it was big. That is when she told me she thought she was suffering from Gender Dysphoria. I’m sure she said a lot more, but I don’t really remember. Looking back now I was in shock. I don’t think I cried or got anger I was too in shock. I remember saying it was ok. That I loved the person they are, and we would figure it out.
I have always considered myself an ally to the LGBTQ+ community. Our oldest son had come out as Bi-sexual a couple years earlier and even before that, I was ally, an uneducated ally but an ally. That being said, there is a big difference between being supportive of the LGBTQ+ community and finding out the person I married and love, who I had known as a man was questioning their gender and might actually be female.