Changes on Hormones (MtF) Part 1

This section is more for those who are interested because they have a loved one starting or considering hormones. It might just be interesting for curious people too. Most trans women are fully versed in what the expectations of hormones are. But if you are early on, it still might be informative to hear how it has affected me personally.

Please note that I have taken a lot of the information I’ve used here from several resources.  I’ve collected handouts and information on websites from provincial or college health sites.  Ontario and BC both have decent sites explaining the expected changes and timelines. I’ve also tapped into UCSF’s trans health page as it has guided a friend of mine through their stages of transition.

There are 3 major areas that hormones affect an adult that has already gone through puberty. They are emotional, sexual/reproductive and physical.  I can assume that similar affects would occur to younger adults who were fortunate enough to put off their first puberty but obviously I haven’t experienced that side of it, so I’ll only focus on my experience. Essentially, going on hormones or Hormone Replacement Treatment (HRT) starts a second puberty. If you can remember your first round of puberty, there were a lot of awkward changes and discoveries that happen at that time. While getting closer to a form that matches how you feel can be euphoric, there are a lot of moments of disappointment, uncertainty, and just generally strange occurrences. A big note here, is that all of the changes mentioned below vary greatly from person to person. This is similar to puberty. In socials, you’ll often see people state what they experience followed by the disclaimer “YMMV” or “Your Mileage May Vary”.

Emotional

The first area of impact felt with hormone therapy is on your emotional state.  It’s quite a rollercoaster, feeling and responding to things differently on estrogen. From my experience, I am much quicker to become emotional and let out a good cry. It might not be just the hormones here but also the fact that I don’t feel the need to hide my tears as much as before.  But also, I’m generally happier than I was before. Not that I was depressed, but the relief and sense of doing the right thing, has uplifted my outlook.

I do find that I get interested or excited in different situations and I also feel joy for other people’s excitement like I never had before.  Empathy is heightened from what I’ve experienced.

I’ve started getting a handle on things here and have come to learn what to expect. 

Sexual/Reproductive

It wasn’t long after I started hormones that my typical “functions” slowed down and eventually kind of stopped altogether. It’s not that I don’t find things arousing or exciting, but the response that was automatically generated by my brain doesn’t seem to happen as easily. In fact, having more clarity and not always thinking about the potential for sex is a huge relief. You don’t realize how much that controls your actions until it’s gone.

For some people, starting hormone therapy also coincides with changes in what makes you excited. Some realize that they are now also attracted to another sex, or different parts of the body may feel sensations that they never have before.  In my case, I’ve always known that I love my wife and have always been attracted to her. Nothing has changed there.

I had a vasectomy years ago so the fears about hormones and not being able to reproduce was never an issue. For some, this is a major concern and must be dealt with prior to starting. There is no guarantee that the hormones will affect a person’s ability to reproduce. I could see it being too much of an unknown not to deal with it.