Gender Affirming Surgery – The Surgery

As you can imagine after the first few days after surgery, I haven’t been too excited about sitting up, to update the blog. There has been so much going on and I’ve captured a lot of it in my personal journal which is a habit I would suggest anyone going through the transition process adopt. It has been a wonderful place to capture a lot of events and feelings – it’s also easier to write in when you can’t sit up. 🙂

Surgery Day Morning

Of course it was raining here in Montreal on Monday, the day of the surgery. That didn’t dampen my spirits much as I was too excited.  I was also still a bit panicky and scatterbrained as I was worried I might not have followed all of the pre-surgery requirements perfectly.  In the end, it didn’t matter too much as they only questioned me a little on my preparations.  We walked in to the building and had some additional paperwork to fill out and then again when I went to the admissions area. Nothing too serious, just some information and a quick check of vitals.  I was also given some pain killers and some meds to make sure I wasn’t too nauseous or panicked.

Hurry up and Wait

Shortly after, Cathy and I went to the hospital room where I would be for the next 2 days. There was a bit of a wait there for me but not as long as the wait was for Cathy. About an hour after signing in and getting into the room, a nurse took me away for the next part.  Luckily Cathy’s brain was a more functional because she rushed over to give me a hug. It was a great big hug that I would have regretted not having if I would have left her without one.

When I was taken away I was brought to another waiting area which seemed strange after everything else was so decorated and impressive up to that point. It literally was a room with 4 walls, a door, sanitizer and gloves, and a chair.  It couldn’t have been more than 4 ft x 4ft.  So odd.  My surgeon then made a visit to introduce himself and to see if I had any questions prior to the surgery.  There was also a quick check on the material he would be working with which seemed satisfactory.  He left and then I was there to wait again. Without my watch, phone, or any clock, I had no idea how long I was waiting there.  I would guess it was probably close to 20-25 minutes.  This time allowed me to think about what I was about to experience and how happy this moment was going to make me. I laughed to myself in there.  I was just amazed that the moment was finally here.

Surgery Table

Eventually the nurse came to get me to bring me to the operating room. I don’t remember much of that walk other than the nurse introducing me to the full team that had already assembled in the room. She asked my name and birthdate a few times and which surgery I was getting. I was asked to hop onto the table and get into a position where they would be able to hook up an IV and a series of other monitors.  The IV was there to provide the sedative to put me to sleep during the operation.  I remember asking if anyone knew the time, but I didn’t get a response. I searched the room, checking all of the equipment and the sets of lights. It was amazing how much went into this. I craned my neck back and saw a digital clock that said 11:09am. I don’t know why it was so important to me, but I felt like I needed to know the time.

The other important anaesthetic was the epidural which was the toughest part of the surgery for me.  I was made to sit up and hug a pillow. Chin down, back curved and try to keep my shoulders relaxed.  It sounds very easy to do but when you are that tensed, keeping your shoulders down seems impossible.  The needle going in was fine but the bit of burning and the pressure is what got me.  That seemed to take a bit of time – maybe a minute, maybe more.  I was quickly rushed back into operating position while my hips and legs still worked. The leg stirrups were then put into place on the sides of the table. I noticed the doctor put the one in on my right side. My legs were placed into them but by then I couldn’t even feel them.  A few heavy blankets were put over me, a blanket which seemed like a curtain was put up and then….

After surgery

The next thing I remember was being awake on the table trying to get my bearings. I was told that the surgery was over. The unfortunate thing was that I don’t remember them telling me that it went well. I was then shifted to a rolling bed and was quickly wheeled to the recovery room where I would wait until my vitals were stable and that there was feeling coming back into my legs.  I didn’t look up at the clock immediately when I got back into the recovery room but shortly after I noticed that it was 12:45pm.  So really the surgery only took just over 90 minutes. That’s really amazing when you think of all of the steps that are involved.

It seemed to take a while before I could feel the coolness of the ice that was used for the test to see if feeling was coming back. It is such a strange and new sensation for me to stare at my toes and focus on them and then not be able to do anything with them.  The nurses prompted this several times in the recovery room but they never moved while I was in there.  After about 30 minutes, I could start to feel the coolness of the ice past my hips and to my thighs.  That was a good sign.  They weren’t able to move me back to my room yet because of some staffing issues but around 1:45pm I got to see Cathy again waiting for me there. Her kiss was very welcome.

Start of Recovery

I did receive news later that yes, everything went well and that it was actually quite uneventful. I’ll get into more of the recovery process and how it was for me in future posts.  Cathy kept telling me that I was off, a little goofy. I’m guessing it was probably the narcotics but I like to believe it was the weight lifted.