It has been a bit since last updating. I guess that’s a good sign that things are returning to normal and I’m getting to enjoy more of the summer.
Changes to Routine
Having surgery at GrS Montreal comes with a well-defined post operative plan and timeline. After one month, the number of dilations decreases from 4 times a day down to 3. This means that when you wake up, go to bed, and once midday you need to complete the full dilation protocol. After two full months and you have fully healed, the amount of time decreases even more. You no longer have to air out for 45 minutes after dilating. Also, sitz baths are no longer required, just the douches. This cuts out quite a bit of time and I can now complete a dilation session in about 40 minutes whereas it used to take over 2 hours.
During this period, you are still expected to keep active though your options are limited. Part of the plan was to get moving and walk for about 60 minutes a day. This was too much to ask for after one month, but after 2 months I was able to go for a good 45-minute walk without too much trouble. I felt guilty leaving my dogs at home while I went out for my walks, but I didn’t trust that they would pull me towards an oncoming dog or chase something that pulled me in a strenuous way. It wasn’t until a couple of weeks after the 2 month mark that I decided to take them along with me. I’ve had a couple of occurrences where they pulled and I haven’t had any negative effects. One of the little moments of joy was when I went out in my yoga pants for the first time. I didn’t have to worry about hiding anything. It felt so right.
As the healing progressed, I was able to help more around the house. After a couple of months, I was helping with dinner preparation, cleaning up the house and doing many of the chores that I was able to do before the surgery. I did rest and relax when possible as well. It was mid-summer after all.
Ghost Sensations
I’ve read that when you lose a part of your body, you retain the feelings associated with those parts for a while. I can confirm that for me, I sometimes have sensations that were related to my old parts. I guess that makes sense as I still have a lot of the same parts but they’ve just been repositioned. It has taken a little bit of time for my brain to reprogram itself and sort out where those parts actually are. I have had itches that when I go to scratch there is nothing there. Another reminder is when I’m in the shower and try to follow the cleaning routine as I would for 45 years, only to get a reminder that something’s missing. As new nerve connections continue and the brain gets reprogrammed as to the true location of where parts are, these feelings will decrease. I hope.
Short Term Coverage
One of the benefits that I have with my employer is the short-term disability arrangement. This program provided salary continuance for as many months as the number of years that I have worked with my employer – up to a maximum of 1 year. The surgery, as it was deemed necessary, was covered under this program and allowed me time away from work, with pay, while I healed. I’m not quite sure how I would have continued working anyway with all of the rest and post-op care that is required. While it is a great benefit, it does not come easily. There were forms that I had to get Dr Brassard, my surgeon, to fill out once the surgery was performed. Then there was the scrutiny from the case manager from the insurance company that called early on to ensure that the coverage was required. At first, I was only covered for the first 6 weeks of the 2 months that the surgeon required for recovery. After that, I required another note from Dr. Brassard to state that additional time off of work was still needed. I understand that the insurance company was just doing their due diligence, but it’s unfortunate that they have to assume that you are taking advantage of them. I felt like I had to prove my innocence a couple of times when it should have been clear that the recommendations from my surgeon were appropriate.
Return to Work
My return to work was gradual which I was thankful for. Before I started going back into the office, I was able to work from home. At first it was a couple of half days a week and then that progressed to every day. I then moved to half days in the office and then half days at home so that I could continue my self care in the middle of the day. My work has been very accommodating and understanding of what I needed to make my healing a success.
Just when my body was getting back to normal and my energy levels were picking up, it was time to return to work. It was a warm welcome when I came back in, and my team was clearly happy to have me back in the office again. I missed everyone there and being able to socialize again was good for my mental health.
By the end of the first day, I was pretty tired out. I unfortunately then had to squeeze the 2nd and 3rd dilations in the evenings. Everything seems to be healing well though as I’ve made it through the tough part of the recovery. I’m really looking forward to the third month where the number of dilations drops to 2 times a day.
7 responses to “Two+ Month Post Op Update”
As a girl who is just beginning my transition it is encouraging,soo inspiring, soo wonderful to read your posts! Thank you for caring enough to share it with us!💐❤️
As always, it makes us feel great that people are enjoying our story. Especially true if it helps people feel positive about their future.
Thanks again for sharing. It’s all very encouraging but also scary at the same time.. Having the surgery is something I want very much. I’m just not sure I have the guts to go through with it. I was wondering what you did before the surgery, meaning did you tuck? And if so what did you find worked best? Also I was wondering how the HRT therapy is going. How long have you been taking them now? And what results have you gotten? You look amazing by the way. I’m jealous seeing the pic of you in the tights.. Lol. Thanks again for everything you and Cathy have shared.
It is true that before surgery, it does seem scary and hard to imagine doing. Honestly though, the procedure itself was really well taken care of and in my case, quite painless. The post care and the limitations after the surgery were the hardest part. It’s crazy to think how quickly 4 months can go but here it is; it will be 4 months tomorrow.
To answer your questions, yes I did tuck. Early on, I did a mix of tucking with nothing and tucking with tape depending on what I was wearing. For tape, I used 3M medical tape as I found that it came off the skin much easier. Towards the end before surgery, the hormones had so much of an effect that I didn’t need much effort to tuck. Just a little guidance and positioning.
HRT has been wonderful but has really stalled over the past year. I’ve been on HRT for nearly 2 years now and I’ve been able to change my dosages and the type of HRT with approval from my endocrinologist fairly easily. I had been on oral estrogen and spironolactone for most of the time though I switch from spiro to Cyproacetate for a while before my surgery. I’m now on estrogen gel and progesterone. Nothing has really kicked in any new changes but my levels seem to be in the right range so I keep going. I’ve gotten very little breast growth but I love what HRT has done to my skin and fat distribution.
Thank you for the nice comment. It never hurts to compliment on appearance because even though I may look good to other people, I still struggle from time to time 🙂
Brooklyn, A well written blog by your wife and you and hopefully this will help other couples like us who are going through this. It is important to know that Gender Dysphoria is real and can hit you like a Mack truck. My wife was very supportive of my transition and took time to educate herself on the subject.
Congratulations on being 4 months post-op, 16 months post-op here. Very true that the surgery can be scary, but once we go through it, it’s a big relief.
Thanks Sara for the kind words! All valid points and I’m happy to hear that things are going well for you. I look forward to getting to 16 months post op and being used to my new parts.
Thank you very much Brooklyn, A marriage in transition takes a lot of hard work and strong communication. My marriage is rock solid and i am a better spouse today and parent then i have ever been.
In time you will get there and get used to your new parts and how things work down there just like i did. Today i don’t think much about it anymore because it just feels natural.