The ball was now rolling. The next on the list after my manager was the General Managers from each of the businesses. It is only fair that they were aware before I start telling members of their team and staff. I have a good relationship with the GMs and had worked for 3 of them directly at one time so I was hoping this would go well. For the most part, it did. I had a great conversation with the GM that I was closest to, over drinks that first evening. I spoke with the others over the next day and managed to reach them all even though one was on vacation. When I reached out to a couple of them telling them that I had something important and personal to tell them, they couldn’t help but think the worst. Once I told them that, “no, I am not sick or dying but that I was grateful for their concern”, I could tell them the real reason I was calling. In all cases, there was no hint of negativity. I received a couple of offers of assistance and a couple of congratulations. At least one relieved GM was just glad to hear that I wasn’t dying.
Telling My Team
My team is a small, close team, of 3 people. I had only been managing the group for a little under a year. Two members of my team had only been there for less than 6 months. But we chat and share as any small group would. Even though I was less worried about telling them than telling my own manager, there was still that fear of rejection.
We had a team meeting the day I had planned on telling them. It was not by accident that I made sure all of them would be in the office that day. After we worked on a project, we shifted gears and had our regular weekly update meeting. At the very end of the meeting, which I skipped through quickly, I let them know. Yet again, I was surprised by the support. Don’t get me wrong, there were some confused looks on a face or two, and a bit of a silence. I continued on a bit and about what this meant for them. Soon after, there were some good questions which made me more comfortable. I left early that day as we were bringing my son to university for his first year. I’ve always wondered what was said after I left.
The Announcement at Work
The following week was about telling some key contacts that I work with before the announcement came out. A few of these people I’ve known for 15+ years and some I’ve worked closely with in the past year. None of the conversations were easy though, especially the ones in person. As had been the trend so far, everyone was supportive and wished me the best. It was emotional and yet very reassuring.
Throughout the week I would update our Director of Diversity and Inclusion as well as my Director of HR, on who was now aware so that they could pull on them to help organizing the information sessions the following week. It was a bit of a task from what I understand as there were a lot of people that needed to have the information and not everyone could be reached at the same time. There was a lot of schedule juggling. The training was initially going to be done by a 3rd party LGTBQ+ organization however at the last minute, the decision was made to keep the training internal. Thankfully, the Director of Diversity and Inclusion pivoted, and blocked her schedule to perform the training for the whole division.
The last task was the divisional announcement at the end of the week. This announcement went to all staff and would capture everyone that was missed through conversation. The original draft was updated a couple of times. I was involved with some of the updates and making sure that it matched the message that I wanted. Overall, I was very pleased with the outcome. I’ve attached an image of the final version with some of the information removed. So, at 3pm on Friday the 8th of September, the announcement came out. And that was it… Brooklyn existed at work now. It was a tiring couple of weeks and I’m so thankful for all of the support that I received from work for making it happen. For a task that seemed impossible back in June, it went surprisingly well.
6 responses to “Letting Everyone Know at Work (Coming Out Pt2)”
Wow!! Absolutely amazing, and also very Inspirational. It definitely gives me some hope. Although I work in a much different environment, I can only hope for some of the support and understanding you received. Thanks again for sharing. I saw your wife’s last tiktok. You look amazing. I’m glad you are finally feeling comfortable with yourself.
Though it is a different work environment, you may still be surprised. I never openly heard anyone at work negatively comment on trans people before my transition so I should have been less surprised… but it never hurts to be well prepared and have a solid plan before making that communication with them.
I can’t get enough of the compliments but it’s funny how difficult it is to see what other people see. I’d like to say I’m 100% comfortable with myself but I often second guess the way people are looking at me. It’s something that I’m working on and I’m getting better.
All I can remember after you left someone (maybe me) said “well, I was expecting that but good for them” and there was silence everyone in thought for a moment and then I had said something along the lines “I’m just glad they are not leaving, it’s not easy finding a supervisor that you can get along with” and everyone agreed. We all left a bit early and I remember going home and researching in hopes I’d find enough information to be supportive and not to do something wrong.
Thanks Jenn! It means a lot to me that you accepted me and also that you put the effort in to learning as much as you can. You have shown your support in many ways!
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