One Month Post Surgery Update

It’s incredible to believe how quickly time has passed since the surgery, which I guess is a good thing.  The main reason is likely that every day feels the same.  There’s not enough time to do much but follow the program the surgeon has laid out for me.

Figuring Out the Routine

When Cathy and I first came home from Montreal it took a couple of days to figure out how my days were going to go. Cathy was wonderful helping out with the setup and getting everything situated in a way that I could access things. Aside from meals, I had everything I needed in our bedroom and adjacent bathroom. Cathy did bring up my meals for the first couple of days, so I didn’t have to worry about the stairs.  One area that brings a lot of guilt was having to keep our two dogs from getting into the bedroom. They love being with us all of the time and it was hard to keep them out.

It is recommended that patients should strive to get about 1 hour of walking in a day to keep the blood flowing to the legs and help the digestive system.  The first couple of days on return home I gave that a try but after about 10 minutes, I was in a lot of pain.  The swelling and throbbing in the area were just too much to overcome.  Not only was it painful but I started noticing some blood from the surgical area. Cathy had to put her foot down and make sure that I rested for the next couple of days.  No walks or no activities. Just lying in bed.

Setting Priorities

Cathy and I had a really good conversation early on where she let me know how important it was to her that I heal.  She reminded me that the more that I try to do early on, the longer the healing process was going to take. It was important for me to hear her say that as I felt very guilty having her do things for me. I struggled knowing that I needed her help and that she was having to do all of the things that I would normally do. It took me a few days to get where she was coming from, but I got there. The kids helped out as much as they could too. Other things were just not going to get done.  I struggled but I learned to be ok with that.

Getting into the Routine

Eventually Cathy had to go back to work and I needed to figure out an efficient routine to keep me on schedule, fed, and comfortable.  The days started when Cathy would wake up, go down to the kitchen to make us coffee and then grab an ice pack for me.  While Cathy got ready and then left for the day, I would go through my first dilation session.  These sessions include prepping and cleaning everything I would need, applying the ice pack, dilation, douche, shower, clean up all of the gear, and then air dry. After getting breakfast, it was usually 930am by the time I was done. I would then have about 60-90 minutes before having to start it all over again at 11am.  The afternoons were better for breaks between selfcare as I got 3 hours to read, play games, and if I had enough energy, go for a small walk.  At 4pm, I would be back at it again so that I could finish before we had dinner with the family.  Then at 8:30pm, I would start the last dilation session before getting to bed just around 10:30pm. The dilations really end up being a full-time job spending 8+ hours a day taking care of myself. Timers and clocks were the tools that helped me do my job.

Because there are only little chunks of time between session, it is hard to do anything with the family at this stage. The days actually went by quickly, but I remembered very little about what I did the previous day unless it was an appointment or if someone came to visit.  After one month, these sessions get reduced to 3 times a day which I was very much looking forward to.

Mental Health and Support

One of the things I have been lucky to have through this experience is support. I’ve read many stories and it is referenced often in the surgery documentation to be prepared for the depression that follows surgery.  This can often be triggered by loneliness, regret, frustration with the selfcare program, amongst many other items. Thanks to great family, friends, and coworkers, I rarely have a day go by that I am not chatting with someone. Usually, it is just someone asking how I’m doing. Occasionally, a friend will drop by on their lunch break. I’m really glad that I’ve built up relationships with great people who truly care.  For future use, this is the best way to ward off these negative feelings that tend to creep up when you are sitting alone, caring for yourself, for 8 hours in a day.

Some days there is more pain than others – those make me worry.  Some days, it felt like I was not healing at all and had regressed a little.  I’ve had a couple of days where I just couldn’t look at myself in the mirror because I didn’t recognize who I was looking at.  Those days are very tough but that is a topic that deserves its own post. All things considered, the recovery has been what I expected. Though I did think I’d be able to do more right at the start and I’m glad I finally came to understand how letting the family help me out was what was best for the family as a whole.