What do our children call Brooke??

Our children were 17 & 13 when they found out their parent was transgender. When we first told them we said they could continue using he/him and dad, but hoped they would help choose a name down the road.

When searching for a new name we looked at names that were popular around the time we were young. She and I both liked Brooklyn so we chatted with the kids, and they thought it was a good name too.

But the hard question still had to be answered; what they would call her. We felt this was something they should weigh in on. There were four options:

• They could continue to use dad because that title was more than just gender but who she was to them. But they did have to consider down the road when she was presenting fully as a female if it would feel uncomfortable saying dad.
• They could call her mom.
• They could call her Brooke.
• Or we could find another term that was unique

Truthfully neither of them had a strong opinion but we left it with them not wanting them to feel pressured to decide. Again, telling them that nothing had to change at this time. Our goal was to always give them notice and time to process before things changed.

One thing that happened that let me know that our younger son was ok, was just before Christmas that year. We were wrapping gifts and he asked me if he should put Brooke or Dad on the tags. I told him it was completely up to him. I was so proud of him for caring enough to ask.

On New Year’s Day we asked the kids if they were ok starting to use she/her when we were in private. Letting them know it was ok and normal if they made mistakes. They both said they were and we all decided they would refer to her as Brooke as well. It amazes me how quickly both made the adjustment.

Jumping ahead things have changed a little. Brooke came out full time September 2023 and in October she shared with me she was thinking of asking the kids if they would be ok using mom but wanted to make sure I was ok with it. She found that them using her name made her feel not part of the family. I assured her I was, as long as the kids were. Of course being the two wonderful children they are, they had no problems. And this Christmas our gifts said Mom#1 & Mom #2.